After I admitted to using cocaine on national television when I was 15, my mom told me that I'd never be able to run for president, that I had ruined my career in politics if I wanted one. Well it's probably a good thing that I decided to be a bag designer. And now that I am a bag designer she would probably say that writing a blog is career suicide. Well again, I guess I can go out guns blazing. I'm not entirely sure what makes me always want to do the exact opposite from what everyone suggested or when they warn me NOT to do something, then I really want to do it.... I blame it on curiosity with a dab of recklessness.
So now you can see why I'm so nervous about a blog. I fear that I won't be elected into office! Or I'll say something that will offend someone. I never used to care, but I'm trying to turn over a new leaf (I have been for a while) and this new PC Sarah is a little more conservative, which isn't saying much.
On any given day I can go from feeling like a entrepreneur super hero to a low-life artist wallowing in my own self loathing psyche. An entire cabinet of bi-polar meds couldn't stabilize me. I might be exaggerating.
Seriously though with all the filters and happy babies and birthday parties that we are flooded with on social media, it's hard to believe that we can just be ourselves and that people won't be scared away. That if I tell you that while I make purses I listen to gangsta rap from the '90s until my $40 speakers blow that you'll still want to buy my products. Or that if I told you that I didn't brush my teeth until my husband texted me that he was coming home from work at 6:30pm that you'd admire my work. Or even if I told you that sometimes while I am sewing I fantasize about all the speeches I'm going to give once I become a millionaire (I mean billionaire), you'd actually think I was a reasonable person to trust with your money.
Well I'm realizing that as time goes on that I'm not that special, that all these thoughts that have always made me so "weird" are actually just "people thoughts". I'm not a psycho or a weirdo and you probably aren't either. And once I realized this, I stopped feeling so alone.
And the only thing better than feeling like you are special, is feeling like you are just like everyone else and finally having a sense of BELONGING!